The Pointless Awards

Hurray! Some people won arbitrary metal statues, said a few words, and walked offstage to get drunk later! The 88th Oscars have just wrapped up, and they are still missing the point of what award shows should be.

An award means absolutely nothing ESPECIALLY to your 55 million-count audience if there is no discussion on what brought along the choice for the award. Additionally, the vast majority of that audience has likely not seen the films in question. Without discussion, awards are essentially meaningless, as there is no information on why a certain film or actor performed better than others. That amount is currently nil. Walk onstage, speak, leave, repeat.

Now, an example of what a good award show looks like. I watch a fellow on YouTube named John Bain, aka TotalBiscuit, and each year he holds the “Arbitrary Video Game Awards”. The man recognizes that his awards mean nothing in the end, as they are just an individual opinion of his. However, each award and nominee is addressed in the video and before the winner is announced, the viewer understands why each game was nominated and each receives its well-deserved recognition. In addition, categories are more interesting than “best X” or “most impressive Y”. These are prestigious awards, not yearbook superlatives.

In addition, providing well thought-out discussion on why each winner actually won encourages further discussion. In our digital world, anyone can get in front of a camera or write a post on Facebook and say what their favorite films of the past year were. Explanations from such a prestigious event as the Oscars would allow people to say “no, it did not win an Oscar, but I thought this film was better for these reasons”. Encouraging discussion gives your awards meaning, and makes people talk about your awards show for more than five minutes before moving on with their lives.

So, yes. Before watching the Oscars or another awards show, think for yourself and share with the world what you thought was the best of the year. Rather than posting a list or taking four hours to reveal said list, use that time and take some effort to explain why each winner got the recognition that they did over the other nominees.

PS: Can we talk about nominees for a second? There were so many good movies released in 2015 and the Oscars only mentioned a small amount of them. This is yet another reason why these awards shows need to properly explain why each nominee was nominated for an award. 

PPS: Star Wars deserved those sound and visual design award much more than Mad Max. I don't care who you are. X-Wings and TIE Fighters beat out cars in the desert any day

PPPS: Kingsman still deserves best picture 

Deadpool: The ConnoReview | A Katana in Marvel's Armory

I walked into the theater with a relatively casual demeanor. I flashed my online ticket code and was expecting to walk right in.

That didn't happen. They still carded us.

They had good reason to do so.

After calling up the father of the friend I saw the film with, we walked into the wacky, witty, and gloriously profane world of Deadpool. Save for a few bumps along the way, Ryan Reynolds’ labor of love hits all the right notes.

“My boyfriend told me this was a superhero movie, but that one guy just turned that other guy into a f**king kebab,” says Reynolds during one of his many talks with the audience during the film. If you've seen the trailers, you know exactly what you're in for. I certainly did. Reynolds brings a sense of life and fun to the character which is a joy on screen. While he's dismembering gunmen, Deadpool cracks wise about the situation he's in, making for riotously entertaining action sequences rife with pop-culture references and playful jabs at Hugh Jackman. The creativity of the humor is to be commended, as it’s both juvenile and smart. Reynolds embodies Deadpool’s character perfectly, almost to the level of Robert Downey Jr. to Tony Stark.

Through all of this fun, Deadpool strikes out at some points: especially when it comes to pacing. After a particularly morose scene, the film returns full-force to its humor and action. This happened on a few occasions, and the film did so in such a heavy-handed manner that I felt a bit out of it at points. Additionally, a few of the jokes fell flat where they likely shouldn't have due to the sheer absurdity of them. (TJ Miller, I'm looking at you.)

Despite its minor issues, Deadpool is great fun for most -- NOT ALL -- ages. There are several instances of nudity in addition to humor and imagery some may find offensive. (I didn't.) Hopefully, the success of this film will pave the way for more Marvel movies cutting loose and having fun.

Star Wars: The Phantom Menace: The Retro ConnoReview

I was extremely hesitant to watch this movie again. I grew up as the prequels released, and had never seen the need to watch them again (likely with good reason). However, I got the whole saga on Bluray, so I decided to give it a whirl.
It really doesn't hold up.
This is far from the worst movie I've ever seen, though while I was watching it I never felt like I was watching Star Wars. Star Wars is full of fast-paced action as well as strong characters. The Phantom Menace has neither of those qualities. There are action sequences, though they're few and far between and terribly paced between Senate discussions and awkward character introductions. Unlike the seemingly timeless stop-motion animation of the OT’s space battles and The Force Awakens’ return to conventional action, Phantom Menace relies solely on CGI, and in 2016 it just doesn't look good. Ships are very low on polygon count, overall visual fidelity has actually gone down (wasn't sure that was possible) since the late 70s originals.
Characters are stony and exhibit little to no qualities that stand out, save for a strong performance from Ewan MacGregor. George Lucas managed to make Samuel L. Jackson boring. I don't know if I should see that as an achievement or resent that. Jar Jar is just as annoying as ever, sadly. Phantom Menace is far from the king in the characterization department. I barely if at all cared about any of the characters by the end, a far cry from the wonderful protagonists of JJ Abrams’ new film.
Despite its many issues, Phantom Menace has a few, not many, redeeming qualities. John Williams’ soundtrack for this one was killer, with Duel of the Fates still standing as one of my favorite Star Wars songs. The pod race bit, as much as it dragged, provided more drama and visual fidelity than the entire film, though sadly proved tiresome like most of the other things about this one. Finally on the list of goods, double-bladed lightsabers are still cool as heck.
So, to wrap up, The Phantom Menace isn't very good. It wasn't very good back when it first came out, and it's certainly not very impressive now. If you're looking for a modern Star Wars adventure, I would definitely look to the new one currently in theaters, which I reviewed earlier.
I'll be back in a bit with a review of Attack of the Clones, as hesitant as I am to do it.

Oscar Nominations 2016: The ConnoReview

Hey y'all, my Aunt Stephanie sent me a request: scoping out this year's Oscars. So rather than leave the fun for her, I decided to post about it here. Hurray for being inclusive! I'll include my personal opinion on what I'd like to win as well as what I think will win. Anyways, let's begin.

*indicates films I haven't seen yet
Best Writing/Original Screenplay
Bridge of Spies*
Ex Machina
Inside Out
Spotlight*
Straight Outta Compton*

My opinion: this was tough, especially with how much buzz there is about nearly all of these films. However, I would personally vouch for Inside Out as it has big laughs, big personalities (5 of them, in fact) and functions as a full story even without the personality dialogue. What I think will win is Spotlight, as from everything I've heard about that film it sounds like it would mesh with a very wide audience and focuses on a gripping, not often discussed, but still major event. Also, the writing is of course wonderful.

Best Adapted Screenplay
The Big Short*
Brooklyn*
Carol*
The Martian
Room*

My opinion: The Martian is fabulously written, with Matt Damon's dialogue and strong supporting characters supporting him. What will win I believe is The Big Short, which I'm in the process of reading, as it is wildly funny and tells a manipulative, domineering tale of businessmen cornering the global market.

Best Visual/Sound Effects
Ex Machina
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant*
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Bridge of Spies*

My opinion: All of these films did a brilliant job of creating an immersive, unique experience. Ex Machina brought you into the mind of a manipulative and captivating AI, Mad Max featured huge explosions and breathtaking views of the Australian outback, The Martian did something very similar, and I haven't seen Bridge of Spies or Revenant, so I can't comment on those. However, I feel like the film this year that did visual and audio design the best was Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
JJ Abrams uses movie magic to bring you back to the glory days of the sci-fi franchise. Brilliant dogfights, breathtaking landscapes, and spot-on sound design bring the viewer into a space opera with through-the-roof production values, and the production that came out of it showcases those values with aplomb.

Best Cinematography
Carol*
The Hateful Eight*
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Revenant*
Sicario*

My opinion: I haven't seen 4 out of 5 of these films, so let's talk about Mad Max! Mad Max is the most impressive feat of cinematography I've seen in a film. The movie is one take, and one long race told from different viewpoints. It's BREATHTAKING and a huge undertaking. Take a look sometime, I certainly liked it.

Best Actress in a Lead Role (Daisy Ridley is not nominated but still wins)
Cate Blanchett, Carol*
Brie Larson, Room*
Jennifer Lawrence, Joy*
Charlotte Rampling, 45 Years*
Saoirse Ronan, Brooklyn*

Best Actor in a Lead Role
Bryan Cranston, Trumbo*
Matt Damon, The Martian
Leonardo Dicaprio, The Revenant*
Michael Fassbender, Steve Jobs*
Eddie Redmayne, The Danish Girl*

I've trumpeted on about Martian long enough, but from what I understand this may be the year that ol' Leo gets an Oscar.

Best Picture
The Big Short*
Bridge of Spies*
Brooklyn*
Mad Max: Fury Road
The Martian
The Revenant*
Room*
Spotlight*

KINGSMAN WINS
Ok thanks for reading, I may have some sort of arbitrary award ceremony of my own in a few weeks, we'll see.

Undertale: The ConnoReview (spoiler-free)

I don't think that I'll ever forget Undertale. I don't think I ever imagined that a retro-stylized RPG would make me think as much as Undertale did. Undertale is creative. Undertale is hilarious. Undertale is powerful. Toby Fox’s labor of love sets a precedent for what video games should aspire to be. Here, I'll tell you why.

Undertale’s greatest strength is how it treats the player not as the game’s protagonist, but treating them like a player, defying their expectations. The main battle system is an amalgamation of bullet hell and turn-based RPG mechanics, a system that harkens back to the days of yore while also (successfully) keeping the player directly engaged. When first meeting the game's many characters, they feel one-dimensional, albeit extremely humorous. The further encounters you have with them make them feel more like people. They feel well-rounded and I ended up actually caring about many of them by the ending. The game also has a habit of breaking the fourth wall. This is prominent due to how it weaves its inherent nuttiness into its mechanics, even going so far as to use the UI to assist its storytelling. The soundtrack is spot-on too, and I regularly find myself humming some of the jingles to myself during the day. The culmination of these things create something truly magical, something that if released in the SNES era would become an instant classic (In my opinion, it’s done so.)

And the endings. Oh, THE ENDINGS. I won't spoil them here, but when it comes to defying the expectations of the player, Undertale’s several branching paths do things I’ve never seen before in video games, one of which is in my opinion one of the coolest things in any game EVER (especially when accounting for the context). This all stems from tying story directly into mechanics and making the player feel as if they themselves are in control rather than playing the role of some character onscreen.

You may notice that this review is vague in a few spots. This is intentional. I believe that there are so many wonderful things about Undertale, and they are best experienced with as little prior knowledge as possible. It’s a game that anyone can appreciate, and at $10, why not give it a try?

Grab it on Steam: http://store.steampowered.com/app/391540/

Grab it DRM-free: http://undertale.com/

2015: The ConnoReview

Happy new year ya filthy animals. These are a few of my favorite things from what is now last year.

Favorite experience: CIT-ing again and meeting a multitude of new and old friends
Favorite new thing I got to do: Trip to the Dominican Republic
Favorite Movie: Kingsman: The Secret Service/Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Favorite app: FTL: Faster Than Light on iPad. Nothing of note really showed up on mobile this year.
Favorite vacation: Return to PAX East
Favorite subreddit: /r/games
Favorite game: Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain
Favorite idiotic failure: Batman: Arkham Knight PC port
Favorite ridiculous thing that happened: My father gave me a small loan of a million dollars
Least favorite food: green beans

Star Wars: The Force Awakens: The ConnoReview | JJ's Labor of Love

The force has awakened indeed.

J. J. did it. Supplied with a deconstructed universe and a killer cast, Star Wars has returned with vigor, hitting all of the right notes in the process. Killer cinematography, cute robots, and a lovingly crafted story certainly help too.

The cinematography and production values are all sky-high, and all of the beautiful special effects and (apparently real) explosions show it. This film was built with fans in mind, be it camera work very much reminiscent of the old films or the iconic opening crawl.

The main triad from the original trilogy reprise their roles, and do so with energy and vigor. Harrison Ford specifically is outstanding, bringing back the old Han Solo like he never left in the first place.

This film isn't about them, though; at least, not as much. The Force Awakens follows a new path: a younger, bombastic group of would-be heroes. Daisy Ridley plays a plucky and immensely attractive scavenger named Rey, who appears opposite Finn, John Boyega’s captivating and stressed former stormtrooper. The dark side has very strong characters too, with Kylo Ren’s character being very different and much more interesting than I expected. The best thing about these characters is that they have their entire characters fleshed out by the end of the film. J. J. obviously ensured this so that his successors in the sequels have these fully formed and strong protagonists to work with and build upon. They are wonderful and bring new life to the franchise, which makes me quite hopeful for the next film.

But that's the thing about Star Wars: The Force Awakens. Everything it does right seems to be setting up for something else. For all of the breathtaking dogfights and tense, character-constructing moments, it falls a bit shallow in the overall story category, falling in line as a modern A New Hope in not simply function but also form. I won't head into spoiler territory, but don't expect a Citizen Kane of Star Wars storytelling. 

This film triumphs in its spectacle, revels in its storied heritage, and creates absolutely fabulous new characters. If you have ever seen a Star Wars film, see this film. If you've stayed away from Star Wars and are interested in an extremely entertaining and well-made film, see this film.

I'm certainly looking forward to more. May the force be with you.