Friday, November 27, 2015

An Ode to Turkey and the Folly of Black Friday

Ah, turkey. How wonderful and significant you are. For years upon years, Americans have eaten you on one day and one day only, the national day of giving thanks. But why?
Turkey sits as the cornerstone of this holiday, serving as a symbol of sorts for it; a bird in replacement of a large fat bloke from the North Pole. Which begs the question, why turkey? It isn't historically significant, as the pilgrims did not actually consume the bird during their encounter with the Indians. Somehow, the humble turkey found a way to ingrain itself into American culture and become something of a nationwide tradition.
This is not to discount the deliciousness of turkey, as it goes exceptionally well with the other dishes served at Thanksgiving, serving as a light, yet uniquely flavorful proponent of the meal. Strangely, on any other day of the year the great bird stands unnoticed, shackled to lunchmeat and the like (though does go quite well on sandwiches with a bit of dijon. Tasty.) 
So, rather than serve it once a year and discount its worth, eat your turkey in other ways, and bring it to true fruition.
Secondly on our list of topics for today is the maligned "holiday" of department store civil war sidling in right after a day of love and togetherness. There's plenty of irony there, but I won't dive into that.
Black Friday, against all odds, still stands in our digital age. The conveniences of Amazon and other online retaliers have dampered it somewhat, but earlier today I still heard stories of grown adults tackling each other over some toy their child "needed". 
Which brings me to my main point. Is Black Friday still relevant? Is there a legitimate reason for functional members of society barreling into one another for quasi-mediocre discounts? Online alternatives should be fully embraced now, a world filled with this amount of aggression over materialism should be restructured and structured in a competent way. The "holiday" is a nuisance, a way for stores to make a buck while whipping brave souls into a frenzy. Next year, shop smartly, and consider more convenient options before strangling someone over an HDTV.
That's all from me. Enjoy your weekend, folks!

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